Top Secret Santa

The Christmas season has a kind of weird twist to it in the Kingdom. It's not that Christmas is outlawed or anything – some Muslims celebrate Christmas and it's not against the Islamic faith – it's just that it's heavily discouraged. At the University, it's more or less a hanging crime to mention Christmas around the wrong people.

In the University, we are almost encouraged to report each other for any misdemeanor or supposed slight. If someone hears you say something like 'Merry Christmas' or, God forbid, you should say it to the wrong person, you could be called into HR for a talking to.

For the past couple of weeks we have been conducting a Secret Santa project in… well, secret. Every week we give our victims Secret Santas two gifts, each signed with a "SS" instead of "Secret Santa" in case the note should fall into the wrong hands.

We fall silent when someone who has reported us before for 'intolerant behavior' (the irony is not lost on us) walks by.

I've been leaving my Secret Santa booby traps of food in front of her door so that when she opens it she inevitable steps on it. You have to make your own fun in the Kingdom.

For the final gift I have gotten her a ball pit. Like a child's ball pit a la Chucky Cheese. She is going to freak and this is the most exciting thing that I can look forward to around the Christmas season.  Going to Christmas parties are not any kind of fun without my family around.

The Reasons Why

In case you haven't heard the news, I've officially resigned my position here. 

There are a lot of reasons and all of them are personal. It took me a long time to accept the fact that personal/emotional reasons were enough to leave a good job behind.

Reason One, "The Most Important One": 

My mood is so unstable here that it's not good for my emotional health. When I first decided to leave, I was wracked with indecision because one day I was ready to hop on a plane, and the next day, I thought it wouldn't be so bad to stay here a year. The changes were so severe and so unpredictable that I felt like I couldn't plan anything in advance because who knows how I would feel when the actual date rolled around?

Reason Two, "The Official Reason":

 

My Visa. Or lack thereof. When I came here, I was told that I wouldn't be getting a resident's visa or Iqama as it's known in the Arab world. I was fine with that. Iqamas took four weeks to get, you had to go back to your home country to get them, and your employer has the right to keep your passport. I've learned too much about human trafficking to be comfortable with someone taking my passport for safe keeping. 

The visa I came on was a three month, multiple-entry visa that would expire into a single entry visa after three months. Meaning that I could come and go as I pleased the first three months, but after that, if I left, I couldn't get back in. I was told that in January, I could go home and renew this visa in order to travel for another three months in the area. 

The laws of the country have been changing – in the last couple of months, actually – and these visas are no longer available.

I had just bought my plane ticket to go home (after informing my employers this was my intention and receiving positive acknowledgement in return) when I received an email that stated there were no visas, that no one would be able to leave during the school break. I was understandably pissed off. But I didn't cancel my plane flight.

For several days, I sat and stewed. Finally, the CEO came to face us and tell us that, he has Iqamas available, but he wasn't going to give them to us. He said he needed them to bring new teachers in that would replace the teachers who already left. We asked him why he didn't try harder to keep the teachers he already has (i.e.: give us the visas) and he simply shrugged his shoulders. At which point I told him, very calmly, my position: I have paid for a plane flight in January. I will be on that plane, out of the country. If you want me back, then you can get me an Iqama.

I don't think they are going to offer me one, but they may. In which case I would seriously consider coming back.

Reason Three, "The Obvious":

 

Not being able to leave the house by myself is taking a serious toll on my sanity. Left to my own devices, I like to take long walks by myself to just think. In the Kingdom, I have to walk in circles on my roof inside the high walls like a prisoner. All I see every day is the four walls of my apartment, the four walls at the university, and the things I can glance out the tinted windows as we drive to work.

Reason Four, "The Company":

The way the company treats us has been intolerable from the start. Things like telling us to be ready to go shopping at 6:00am, and then phoning us up three hours later to tell us the trip has been canceled. No other explanation. Like it doesn't matter that we've gotten up ridiculously early and been waiting for three hours. This is only one example of many that include safety issues both in transit (they stranded my friend in the middle of the night on the side of the road without explanation), and at home (our accommodation has only one doorman, who is a string bean of a man, and glass doors). Also a problem is their habit of not paying us so that we can access our money in a timely manner, and not allowing the proper amount of sick days (we have been told, several times, that if we are sick, we should just suck it up and go to work).

Reason Five, "My Goals":

 

I had certain goals when I came here. They were, in order of priority – be creative, write, learn Arabic, travel to the nearby countries, explore Kingdom Culture, get university experience, and make money.  Being creative and writing is almost impossible when I never see anything new in my life. I was promised free Arabic lessons which have never materialized. I've honestly learned more Urdu than I have Arabic working here. I would do better with Rosetta Stone. Obviously, the visa situation makes travel impossible and I've been out and about in Kingdom Culture for about four months now.  The experience is great, but now I have a semester, so that goal is more or less accomplished. That leaves making money, and doing this only for money is something I suspect I will regret in the future. 

Therefore, I have nothing left to gain by being here.

            UPDATE: They have offered me an Iqama when it seemed that I was serious about going home. I had a couple hours of indecision about why I was really leaving and would my problems really be fixed with an Iqama. I finally decided that getting the visa didn't really make a difference. I am leaving anyway.

Where Do You Belong?

                I have an answer. An Answer to the question you have all been wondering.  Are you a Magdan? Or a Savannite?

                These two accommodations seem to predict the kind of person you are going to be. Recently, we had a new teacher come to the Kingdom and she was trying to decide which accommodation to move into. We had to brainstorm many ways to try and decide this fateful question (sorting hat, tarot card reading). We finally decided on a couple simple multiple questions to ask her. Now you can see for yourself what kind of person you are:

1.) When you ask the doorman to bring the washing machine to your apartment so you can wash your clothes and he doesn't do it for five days, you:

    a) Freak out because there is only one washing machine. When you get it, keep it in your room and pretend you don't have it.

                b) Email the CEO, HR, and your mother all about it. Three times.

                c) Go downstairs and strangle him with his own mullet.

                d) Do your laundry by hand. Like a boss.

2.) When you see cockroaches in your building, you:

                a) Scream. Blame the Kingdom. Deny the existence of cockroaches in your own country.

                b) Email the CEO, HR, and your mother all about it. Three times.

                c) Get a cat.

                d) Kill it and move on with your day.

3.) You cooked too much food and you don't want to deal with leftovers. You:

                a) Throw it out

                b) Email the CEO, HR, and your mother all about it. Three times. Blame the Kingdom. Deny the existence of leftovers in your country.

                c) Call everyone in the building because you know they will descend upon you like locusts.

                d) Pack it up and leave it on someone's doorstep Ding-Dong-Ditch style.

4.) Someone leaves food on your doorstep Ding-Dong-Ditch style. You:

                a) Scream. Blame the Kingdom. Call in sick to work.

                b) Throw it out.

                c) Eat it. Obviously.

                d) Pay it forward Ding-Dong-Ditch style.

5.) When someone sends out an email about a religious event that you don't participate in (Christmas, Eid, etc.), you:

                a) Call a meeting and lecture everyone on religious tolerance.

                b) Track down the person in charge of entire email service and make their lives hell.

                c) Read it and forget about it.

                d) Sign up to participate.

6.) It's raining outside. You:

                a) Make sure all the windows are closed tightly.

                b) Call a meeting and make everyone come. Blame the Kingdom. This never would have happened back home.

                c) Do a rain dance. Obviously.

                d) Call everyone up to stand outside under the gazebo and sing Christmas carols with you until the post-rain sandstorm sweeps in, and then skitter back inside like over-excited kittens.

If you answered mostly C or D, congratulations! You should join us in Magda! If you answered mostly A or B… I'm sure you have many other amazing qualities…

In the end, the new teacher commandeered the bus that was supposed to take us somewhere to unload all of her stuff at Savanna. Instead of going somewhere we had planned on going, she made us wait around until she was done. We decided that Savanna was a good choice for her.

Be Aware

 You know what really bothers me? People who come to other countries – especially to work – and complain when they find out it's not like their own country. Why would you come to another country if you thought it would be the same as America? Or the UK? Or wherever?

Of course, it's going to be different here. You should have known that going in. I hear people complaining about the way things are done here – the Inshallah Attitude. I've heard people complain about the way people act – this is a country that really has a 'saving face' tradition, and therefor, people will tell you what you want to hear, even if it's incorrect. This isn't the same thing as lying. It's an aspect of the culture that you need to be aware of. That you should have been aware of before you got here.

It's one thing going to a country without doing any research on the place – that's fine. As long as you can adapt to whatever comes your way. But if you are a very inflexible person, set in your ways, then don't sign up for an English teaching job abroad without having a serious soul-searching discussion with yourself. If the way they do things in a country just stands your hair on end and you can't handle it, then don't come.

It's fine to visit such a place, just to see what it's like, but living there is a totally different ball game.

If you have a problem with the way they do things but are willing to adapt, to do things their way for a while, then it will be a growing experience. If you aren't willing to adapt, then of course you are going to have problems.

Another pet peeve of mine is when people aren't aware that they are representing their country when abroad. I am always majorly embarrassed by Americans who act up abroad. I had an encounter with a bunch of drunk Americans in a Jjimjilbang (Korean Spa) once that ended with me leaving in disgust because I didn't want to be associated with them. Do they seriously not understand that they are leaving the worst impression of Americans? Now, everyone who has come into contact with them that night will not only think all Americans are loud, rude, and obnoxious (not to mention drunks), but they will tell their friends and co-workers.

Living in another country is difficult (some more so than others). You have to be aware of so many things at once – political atmosphere, cultural norms, language, local laws, local scams, and most especially, your surroundings. You have to keep these things in your head at all times or run the risk of making a serious mistake that can cost you friends, contacts, money, jobs, or emotional and physical well-being.

But if you can't take the heat, folks, stay out of the kitchen.