Christmas in the Kingdom

I still haven't figured out Christmas away from my family. The day is pretty miserable without the usual trappings of the tree and my brothers and my parents and my relatives. My co-workers have been wanting to watch Christmas movies and sing Christmas carols, but I just can't get into it. I always agree to do these things with them, and then at the last moment, say, you know what, let's not. I don't want to be reminded of what I'm missing, honestly. Some people have chosen not to come in today, but I can be miserable at work just as easy as I can be miserable at home so there's no point. 

All day, people have been creeping around the office to whisper "Merry Christmas" in each other's ears, afraid to say it too loud.

I did go to a lovely party yesterday at one of the lead teacher's houses. It was so nice to be somewhere that felt like a home, with children and a Christmas tree and a turkey dinner. It made me alternate between being very sad and being very comfortable.

We have several parties planned – on the down low, you understand – but I don't know if I will be up for them.

Christmas just isn't Christmas without family

Top Secret Santa

The Christmas season has a kind of weird twist to it in the Kingdom. It's not that Christmas is outlawed or anything – some Muslims celebrate Christmas and it's not against the Islamic faith – it's just that it's heavily discouraged. At the University, it's more or less a hanging crime to mention Christmas around the wrong people.

In the University, we are almost encouraged to report each other for any misdemeanor or supposed slight. If someone hears you say something like 'Merry Christmas' or, God forbid, you should say it to the wrong person, you could be called into HR for a talking to.

For the past couple of weeks we have been conducting a Secret Santa project in… well, secret. Every week we give our victims Secret Santas two gifts, each signed with a "SS" instead of "Secret Santa" in case the note should fall into the wrong hands.

We fall silent when someone who has reported us before for 'intolerant behavior' (the irony is not lost on us) walks by.

I've been leaving my Secret Santa booby traps of food in front of her door so that when she opens it she inevitable steps on it. You have to make your own fun in the Kingdom.

For the final gift I have gotten her a ball pit. Like a child's ball pit a la Chucky Cheese. She is going to freak and this is the most exciting thing that I can look forward to around the Christmas season.  Going to Christmas parties are not any kind of fun without my family around.

Some Tips for Hostel Living

I haven't really spent all that much time in hostels, though it is my preferred method of accommodation when I actually have to pay to sleep somewhere. I am lucky enough to have lots of friends in lots of countries so I often get to stay places for free. But those few times I have had to stay in a hostel, it has been a great experience.

1. Always get to know your roommates, as much as you can.

Some people go to hostels and don't want to talk to anyone. This however, is not the norm. The quicker you get to know your roommates, the quicker you can trust them to watch your stuff.

2. Always take the bottom bunk if you can.

Though I prefer the top bunk in most situations, grabbing the bottom bunk in a hostel allows you not only to lay claim to any wall sockets nearby, but also all the space around your bunk to keep your stuff. If you are worried about security while you sleep, having a top bunk means you have to share the bed with all your luggage, whereas having a bottom bunk means it can be under your bed. Also, you don't have to climb over anyone when you go to bed or wake up. Always a plus.

3. Keep your ear to the ground.

Always listen to the gossip and the scuttlebutt (best word ever) among your fellow travelers. People who stay in hostels generally know their way around and probably know of some crazy/interesting/off the beaten track thing that you've never heard of.

4. Make friends with the people who work at the hostel.

The people who work there are great resources and generally will help you out if you ask. They, too, listen to gossip and will know the best way to do everything. Watch out, though, because they may just direct you to their own personal travel agency. This may be a good deal and it may not.

5. Never leave your clothes on the floor of the bathroom when you shower.

No matter how much it looks like they will stay dry, they won't. Just don't do it.

6. Label all the food in the fridge that is yours.

I typically go with the classics. Labels that say things like “Science Experiment” or “ Poisonous” or “For My Enemies”. I suppose you could just write your name, if you want to be lame.

7. Always bring an eye mask and a flashlight.

You never want your illumination requirements in the hands of other people. You want to sleep and your roommate wants to read? BAM. Eye mask. When you come in the room late at night after everyone's asleep and can't find your toothbrush? BAM. Flashlight.

8. Make someone take responsibility.

There is always a risk to traveling in general. But I truly believe that people are generally good and will look after you if you ask. But only if you ask. By that I mean, if you are going to leave your luggage unattended in the common room, ask someone specific to look after it for you. If you make someone personally responsible for your things, even if it's a complete stranger, it will be looked after. If you say to the general room, 'don't let anyone touch my things' there's no guarantee.

9. Always be aware.

Like I said; inherent risk and all that. Obvi.

10. Take advantage of any free meals.

Some hostels will give you breakfast and if that's the case, then eat as much as you can in the morning. If you have a huge breakfast, chances are you won't be hungry for lunch i.e.: you won't need to pay for lunch. That's two meals free.

In general, hostels are the bomb diggity, so I would recommend them to anyone looking to travel on the cheap. Sure, hotel rooms are more private, but who needs privacy when you can have sleep-over style chats well into the morning?

The Hajj

 It's that time of year again! The school breaks are upon us, the changing season is in the air, and old men are sitting around the airports in towels.

What?

I was talking about the Hajj season. What were you talking about? Witchcraft no doubt.

Yes, the Hajj is upon us. For those of you who are uninformed, the Hajj, or the pilgrimage to Mecca, is one of the five pillars of the Islamic faith. These are the five things that one must do to be a good Muslim. They are as follows:

1. The Islamic Creed, which is to proclaim that there is no other God than Allah.

   
   

2. Almsgiving, or giving money to the poor. In many islamic countries, this is part of the taxes, so it automatically comes out of paychecks.

3. Daily prayers, five times a day. This is strictly enforced here.

4. Fasting during Ramadan.Also strictly enforced in the Kingdom.

5. And finally, the Hajj.

There are actually many acts you have to preform during the Hajj, of which I do not know the extent. But on the 9^th day of the Hajj month, which started Wednesday, October 17^th this year, everyone – EVERYONE – who is performing the Hajj must be in the small town of Arafat (near Mecca) in order to do something. Something about throwing stones.

Arafat is supposedly where Adam received forgiveness from Allah, and where the Prophet Mohammad made his last sermon. It is known as a place of forgiveness.

But imagine it. Last year, there was 20 million people doing the Hajj. 20 million people in the small town of Arafat. Then, the next night, they all must sleep in another village, which is made solely of tents. They have all the modern amenities, it is said, just in tents.

There are other acts that must be performed, like the Umrah, which is what you see on television where they are walking around the Kaaba in the Grand Mosque in Mecca. The two times I have flown to City 2, there were announcements for all those going to perform the Umrah (which can be done any time of year). The announcements were concerning a distance from Mecca where you are supposed to gather your intentions to fulfill your holy duties. Since, in days of yore, one would be traveling on foot or on a camel, there was plenty of time to do this. Now, it's kind of a quick thought process you engage in before you land in City 2.

I was actually quite surprised to find that non-Muslims were not allowed, not only in the Grand Mosque, but in the entire city region of Mecca and Medina. In the past I have found the Islamic faith - and more or less every other faith excepting Mormonism - very willing to share their cultures with other faiths and peoples. Not so here. Infidels are strictly prohibited in the Holy Land. There is an invisible line after which non-Muslims are not permitted.

Obviously, I'm no expert on this, and I plan to learn more. But I'm very glad I'm getting the heck out of Dodge for the time being. If 20 million people in towels ( to approach Mecca on the Hajj or the Umrah, you must wear un-sewn cloth instead of clothes) are going to descend on this country, I'm glad I won't be here.  

Air Travel

 I hear people complaining about air travel recently – and probably with good reason – but I often find it hard to relate. Traveling in the United States and traveling outside of it are two entirely different animals. Standards for safety I have encountered abroad range from that time I was felt up so thoroughly by a security guard at Ferenc Liszt airport in Budapest I felt like she owed me dinner, to that time in Egypt, where, despite the prevalence of x-rays and metal detectors, they legitimately don't give a crap.

I can't count how many TSA violations I have gotten away with in my short life. Pretty much anywhere besides America will let you bring a bottle of water on the plane (this has happened to me in Egypt, the Kingdom, even Hungary) and a couple times I have forgotten something like a razor in my backpack and not gotten it confiscated.

Compare this to the one time my mother and I were traveling to Peru and they looked through her entire carry on for about twenty minutes until they found a nail file. Which they confiscated. Or the time, in Japan, everything was removed from my bag and x-rayed separately  I spent a long time standing awkwardly while they went through my things, feeling like I should be explaining why I'm bringing a bag of cheetos into the country (they were for a friend!)

In the Kingdom, there is separate security for women and for men. The men go through the metal detector like normal, and the women are diverted into this little hut off to the side. Inside, you have to pull aside not one, but two sets of heavy, light-blocking curtains to reach the inner sanctum.There, bored female guards will half-heartedly wand you over in case you are keeping a switchblade in your knickers. Incidentally, if I was keeping a switchblade in my knickers, they probably wouldn't have found it.

I have walked in several times to find the guards either cheerfully chatting with each other, sitting back and relaxing, having lunch, or, most recently, listening to their ipods (HARAM!)

No one can come and check on them because their bosses are all male. These ladies have figured out a pretty sweet racket.

These airports also have x-ray machines as you come in the door (not that they ever stop anybody from bringing in anything) and “family sections” which is where it's okay for women to be. There are also “single” sections which are for single men. To be fair, men are only allowed in the 'family' section if they are actually with their families.

As a lone female traveler, or really as a female in the Kingdom in general, I have to be careful where I sit, even in the 'family' section. Sitting by myself is always an option, though not as good as sitting relatively near other women. It should go without saying that sitting next to a man is not even an option.

On the plane, before take off, they recite a prayer that the Prophet Muhammad used to say before he traveled. There is, of course, no alcohol on any Kingdom Airline flights.

This in-depth description is in honor of my vacation I am taking for the rest of the month of October. I worked a grueling five days this month and I deserve a vacation!

I'm starting to feel like I take vacations professionally. Paid vacations.

All sarcasm aside, the last week has been hell on earth. Sometime since I left everyone has decided to start hating each other. When I arrived back, I was immediately treated to a dozen side conversations about one person or another. I felt bad even listening to people tear into each other but I hadn't been there so I had no idea if it was justified or not.

Tempers flared the other day on the bus and there was snarling all the way home. It was so vicious that my mp3 player couldn't drown it out and I had to distract myself by trying to learn the Arabic numbers using licence plates.

I know them perfectly now, in case you were wondering.

I got my own dose of annoyance when the job of editing and producing the bi-weekly newsletter fell entirely to me. Typically, we have a team to work on it, but they were all too busy this week.

I didn't mind at first and I was kind of looking forward to it. It may have even been out on time if anyone had sent me anything they were supposed to. On Wednesday COB (the newsletter should have been out already) I was still missing the main article that my supervisor said she would send me at 9 am. Plus, I designed all the banners and titles myself in illustrator and my supervisor takes one look at them and crinkles her nose, asks me if we can do something about the ugly colors.

After a week of this crap I was done and so glad someone had talked me into leaving for the vacation instead of staying in town and... I don't know, screaming at the ceiling?  

National Day

 It's National Day in the Kingdom and everyone is decked out in green and white, the national colors. The cafes all have strobing green light-saber like devices in all the windows and on all the shelves. Everyone is in their festive finest and I am wearing a heart-shaped pin with the face of a very happy looking King on it.

This weekend we had four days off – Thursday through Sunday. Thursday and Friday being the regular weekend, Sunday being National Day and Saturday being the day we got off at the last minute because it was too much work to come into school on the day.

Spending four days off made me long for work. To tell you the truth, there is NOTHING to do here. I sat in my room and painted, and wrote, and watched TV and I was bored out of my mind. Really, having a holiday is not the best thing here because it means you have nothing to do.

Now, in the future, if I know I have these kinds of holidays, and I have been paid, and I have enough notice, then I would make the trip to a nearby county. There are some lovely ruins in the north I would like to see, and I've heard City 2 is a happenin' town. But I didn't have time to plan, I didn't have money, and all I did was sit around.

We did, however, have a barbeque on the roof. Complete with music, belly-dancing, and lounging area done Arabian Style. We all donated our rugs and couch pillows and invited some girls from work to hang. It was a little bit tense at first, because we ended up inviting the women from HR who are more of less in charge of our jobs and we were worried about doing something to get us all fired.

But the second the ladies of HR took off their abayas, we could see this wasn't going to be a problem. They were all dressed to the nines complete with mini dresses and high heels. Since it was on the roof with no men allowed, no one bothered that we were all being crazy western females.

After stressing for days about how we weren't going to have enough meat for everyone, we ended up with enough to feed a village. We had to have a barbeque part 2 the next day just so the food wouldn't go to waste.

I made my famous chili (which is really Hard Times Chili) and got many compliments on it – as I always do. I bought some Budweiser non-alcoholic beer to put in the chili, but after just one sip of it (required) I couldn't subject anyone to it. I am not a beer fanatic (obviously, since I bought Budweiser) but it tasted like... I don't know. Nastiness. Typically it's just like beer flavored water, but this was actively offensive to my taste buds.

Today, I will have my first class with actual people in it. Probably. Maybe. Inshallah.

I've been productive this morning and only gone for one half-an-hour coffee break and talked to various people about how I don't have: A) a book for class; B) pages in my passport; C) information on the DELTA which I, unfortunately, can't take.

The DELTA is like getting your masters in teaching ESOL and I was excited about being able to take it. I am going to try and take it anyway, but typically you have to have two years post-certification teaching to apply. Maybe they won't notice? If it was run by Kingdomites, I would say it's a possibility. But it's run by IH London and they aren't likely to overlook something so obvious.

Le sigh.