I still haven't figured out Christmas away from my family. The day is pretty miserable without the usual trappings of the tree and my brothers and my parents and my relatives. My co-workers have been wanting to watch Christmas movies and sing Christmas carols, but I just can't get into it. I always agree to do these things with them, and then at the last moment, say, you know what, let's not. I don't want to be reminded of what I'm missing, honestly. Some people have chosen not to come in today, but I can be miserable at work just as easy as I can be miserable at home so there's no point.
All day, people have been creeping around the office to whisper "Merry Christmas" in each other's ears, afraid to say it too loud.
I did go to a lovely party yesterday at one of the lead teacher's houses. It was so nice to be somewhere that felt like a home, with children and a Christmas tree and a turkey dinner. It made me alternate between being very sad and being very comfortable.
We have several parties planned – on the down low, you understand – but I don't know if I will be up for them.
Christmas just isn't Christmas without family